Mrs. Conception

I am an uptight person.

Okay, that might be an understatement.

I am quite possibly the most uptight person to have ever existed in the world. Ever. I am that annoying person who brings a hard and fast intinerary on vacation, who finds an activity that looks like fun and then reads three books on how to do it before proceeding, who looks at you with a disdainfully puckered pout when you meet me ten minutes late. It takes me a while to recover from changed plans, wrong turns, anything botched. I am unreasonably competitive, so even calm and peaceful activities like golf and solitaire make me crazy, and I hate crowds, so the beach and the movies are only good if everyone else isn’t getting their leisure time there, too. I am in a constant state of stress, even when I’m just watching TV. I’m not actually sure why anyone hangs out with me. I am really no fun.

So, now I am on a mission to relax. I realize this is probably counterproductive. The word “mission” doesn’t really inspire visions of lounging in a hammock drinking lemonade or floating on a raft down a peaceful river to the soothing sounds of the junebug. But mission is all I know. So I am forging ahead to find as many methods of relaxation as I can, and hopefully one will work, so maybe I can live a forge-free life after that. My list so far includes:

*Yoga – Seems like everywhere I go these days, people are touting the benefits of yoga. My balance isn’t the best at this point, I hold my breath when I concentrate, and a good portion of my anxiety is probably left over from a decade of traumatic dance classes (Vaseline on the teeth to make us smile, an entire year of bloody knees from a particular move in our “Everybody Dance Now” number, students who didn’t return for another year being declared dead by the teacher), so I wasn’t sure if this was an activity for me. But I kept being attracted to it and I have to say after just a half an hour of yoga I was mellowed out, and I slept really well that night. Definitely something to continue with.

*Meditation – I downloaded some guided meditations to put on my iPod, and as long as I can find a place where my dogs won’t climb all over me, I seem to be helped by them. It takes me a while to be able to totally focus on them (I have a mind that loves to race) but they are pretty long so I do I have time to get into it. Plus Dr. Oz has meditation as part of his anti-aging diet, and I’ll try pretty much anything that I see on Oprah.

*Going Caffeine Free – I have to admit caffeine isn’t the best thing for me. It makes me jumpy and if I drink it after 4pm I can’t fall asleep until 2 in the morning. But I have relied on it for a long time to wake me up (Mountain Dew for breakfast is a long time staple) and keep me up. My first days of trying to break the habit have been foggy with fatigue and a little grumpy. But I shall press on.

*Lighting Candles – I’m not sure if this actually helps, but candle light is pretty and it makes me happy when the house smells like vanilla. Happiness can’t hurt in a quest for calmness.

Good start, right? Soon, I will hopefully be cool, calm, and utterly peaceful. Anybody got other relaxation tips? Please let me know! I need all the help I can get.